So I was on the commuter rail, reading Ms. Magazine …
Specifically the movie reviews at the back where there are a lot of ads, one was for Bitch magazine which I didn’t even notice. The train conductor came down the aisle, first commenting on how sweet the couple was behind me. Then as she took my ticket, she cried “What is THAT?”
She was pointing to the ad for bitch.
I was a little taken off guard, and noticing she was shocked and offended that such a word was in my magazine, I explained that it was a feminist magazine.
“Oh, they just need to find themselves a man. That’s all they need,” she said, chuckling a little. Then she added, gesturing to the woman behind me “See, she wouldn’t even read that. They just need a man.”
(to be fair, I’m a little hazy on her exact words, that’s how I remember it but I may be off by a word or two).
Now I was in shock. Not only was it sexist, but it was incredibly disrespectful.
It also really stung to be reminded that I’m not in such a sweet, happy relationship as the nice girl behind me was.
There is very little overlap between women who expect chivalry and women who actually care about equality. Most feminists do NOT expect special treatment just for being women. Please judge feminism by the many feminists with common sense, not the few who don’t understand how equality works.
chivalry knows no gender-
-and Belle could tell it had never known Gaston.
no no no no no no no, chivalry has gender. manners do not. learn the difference.
There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of sex. There’s nothing inherently wrong with polyamory, open relationships, or casual, random hookups. Sex positivity is a wonderful thing. However, there IS something wrong with acting as though that is the “right” way to be sexual, and it is not okay to insist that there is something wrong with someone who doesn’t want those things, or that someone who prefers more traditional forms of relationships and sexual activity (monogamy) is repressed and need some sort of liberation or sexual awakening, or that it’s selfish to not wanting to share or be shared. People who do this are no better than those who judge people for being too sexual. Prude shaming is just as bad as slut shaming, and it needs to stop.
Sad thing is, this happened to me last year. the guy told me it was unhealthy to bring up my own experiences during a discussion and use them to pretend to be an expert on the subject. Thing is, if it’s actually happened to me, I know a fuckton more about it than people who haven’t experienced it.
I’m still frustrated and fed up with people getting on my back about not being “enough” of a feminist. Because clearly, being a feminist is incompatible with being A HUMAN BEING.